ARCHIVE:
05252011

From the Sheeplog Experts...

Jane Ann

Jane Ann

TOPIC: "Unenraptured"

I didn’t write your horoscope because I thought the Rapture was coming.

A lot of people are disappointed, but a bunch of my friends are really glad because they were just a few days away from graduation. I mean, really, would God do that to people who worked so hard or at least already paid for their cap and gown rental?

I’m afraid I bought the Rapture story, so now I have to go fish all those invitations out of the trash AND refill my mom’s refrigerator. I don’t know what came over me. I heard that radio guy saying all the good people were going to get taken up on Saturday and I just sort of glazed over. Mom wasn’t home when I started just, like, hypnotically emptying the fridge.

Was she ever mad when she found out! "What makes you think you’re going to get picked after you dumped out the whole family’s groceries?!" she yelled. "If it doesn’t happen, you have to replace everything with your own money!" After she calmed down, she apologized for doubting I’d get taken up. I’m a wonderful daughter, she told me, stroking my head, only $150 poorer.

Oh, well, I wasn’t planning on using that money anyway, right? Only thing is all I’m going to be able to give my friends for graduation is like a stalk of celery…maybe with a bow on it. Awesome.

Meanwhile, I owe you a horoscope especially in light of what’s happened—or not happened. So Mavis gave me her Friday slot on the blog. I hope you’ll check out the 'scope day after tomorrow.

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