ARCHIVE:
05132011

From the Sheeplog Experts...

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TOPIC: "Royal Gown Omission"

What’s with all the tasteful fashion going around these days? It makes it tough on us critics.

But, as with the Oscars, there was hardly anything not to like about the royal wedding gown of the Duchess of Cambridge.

I purposely took my time before commenting, but it can only be described as elegant, sophisticated and lovely with a great train. And nothing was going to make that girl look fat.

Nevertheless, as I watched the happy couple arrive for the ceremony and emerge from their car, I was struck by a certain unease as I realized: What, no royal fanny pack?

I suspect Kate’s adoring throngs were slightly disappointed to see her gorgeous gown lacking any white satin or sequined belt that the duchess could have filled with commemorative trinkets to toss to the masses. Isn’t that what royalty does?

True, Kate and William wanted to keep the ceremony lavishly simple in light of the current economic climate. But I’m thinking of Kate on the balcony, kissing her groom and then reaching into her shiny little pouch and throwing plastic key chains and pencil sharpeners to all the little people.

As a further statement of sympathy for the difficult financial circumstances of the unwashed, maybe she could have also tossed out some two-fer coupons for fried chicken. Wait—that’s not very British. How about coupons for pot pies? OR she could have thrown them magic beans.

But in the designer’s defense, I must say creating an elegant fanny pack is the greatest fashion challenge, probably, in the history of humankind. It’s one of what I like to call the dork arts.

In my next blog, I’ll address the dork art of the fanny pack.

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