ARCHIVE:
07062011

From the Sheeplog Experts...

Old Goat

Old Goat

TOPIC: "Class Reunion"

My class reunion was less than I’d hoped:
"Is that you, Rosalee?"
"It’s Rose."
"Do you remember me?"
"No."
"Rosalee, it’s me, Goat. We went steady for two years."
"That’s impossible. No way, I’d date a guy with jowls like that."
"That was 40 years ago!"
"I didn’t like jowls then, either."

So I swallowed hard and got into the spirit of the evening:
"Oh, wait. I think you’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t look down, but now I see. Nope, I never would’ve dated a girl with such fat ankles."

"Hey, is that you, Mick?"
"Oh my gosh, Goat. Man, I didn’t recognize you. What’s with the jowls?"
"Yeah, Mick, when did you start hiding your belt like that?"
"Do I have on a belt?"
"Hey, Mick, is that Suzy? You took her to prom, right?"
"Yes. But that can’t be her…"

"Hey, Suzy, is that you?"
"It’s Susan. Nobody’s called me Suzy since high school."
"But, Suzy, this is our high school reunion!"
"Really? I knew I had something tonight. Who are you?"
"Goat and Mick. Remember us?"
"No."
"Mick took you to prom, remember? You double-dated with Rosalee and me."
"That’s impossible. I’d never date a guy that wide."

Mick chimed in:
"You know, you’re right. You can’t be my prom date. I’d never go for a girl without eyelashes."
"That was 40 years ago!"
"Yeah, but even back then I insisted they have some eyelashes."
"Suzy, surely you remember Rosalee?"

Now it was Suzy’s turn:
"Is that you, Rosalee?"
"It’s Rose. But I don’t remember you."
"I’m Susan. We double-dated with a couple of cute guys. Remember burgers at the Meal-a-Minute after prom?"
"I don’t know a Susan and I made sure I didn’t double-date to Meal-a-Minute if the other girl’s upper lip was fuzzed and wrinkled."
"Oops, my mistake. I was thinking you were Rosalee. But she had an hourglass figure. Yours is a bit more like a beer bottle."

But then Rosalee saved the evening:
"I don’t think I can stand up much longer. Whoever you all are, do you want to go get a bite at the Meal-a-Minute?"
"Yeah, I’m sure standing around is hard on those fat ankles."
"Before we continue this discussion in a Meal-a-Minute booth, does anybody have filters for conversation any more?"
"Not me. You may not be able to fit in a booth."
"Me, either. Whoa…who just tooted?"
"Or me. Let’s go. But everybody quit yelling."

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