From the Sheeplog Experts...

Jane Ann

Jane Ann

TOPIC: "Post-Rapture Horoscope"

As you know, I didn’t study the signs real well this time because I thought the Rapture was coming. But after such a lack of turn of events, I know you need your horoscope more than ever. So here it is, slightly off the top of my head. Thank you for understanding.

For ARIES thru GEMINI: The bleak outlook of last week is over. You have new possibilities and an undetermined amount of time to do them in. So try to figure out your life again. Beware of going back to credit cards too quickly.

CANCER and LEO: (including me) Yep, replenish your refrigerator and go back to Goodwill and see if you can get your old clothes back. Don’t even try to explain why you thought they could use them and you couldn’t. But maybe ask yourself about this.

VIRGO thru CAPRICORN: Try to smooth over hurt feelings from all the blunt honesty you so bravely spoke with last Friday. If you did any condemnation you should say you’re sorry and consider doing it from a distance. You might want to hide your insecurities for a little while, too.

PISCES: Soothe disappointment by trying transcendental meditation (TM). Don’t do it too intensely or you might get TMJ.

AQUARIUS: Come back to earth. Good try, but you can’t get to heaven by your own power. Please stop singing, "This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius." It’s not, and it’s annoying.