ARCHIVE:
09052010

From the Sheeplog Experts...

mavis in mitre

Mavis Cabeza de Vaca

TOPIC: "Mosque or No"

I put on a special sort of “thinking cap” – see my picture – to figure out whether building an Islamic center near Ground Zero in New York is a good idea.

My cap says it won’t pose a problem. After it is built, people will go there to study peace and worship their God. The problem comes before it becomes a reality. That is when it is an object of fear of the unknown.

We can very practically solve the problem by turning, in the present, to reality. Here's how:

Take three thinking caps just like mine. Place a pea under one of them—the “pea” stands for “peace.”

Rapidly slide all the thinking caps around. This can be done on the big screen overlooking Times Square. Then everyone in Times Square guess which one has the pea under it. Stand in three separate groups according to choice. When the pea is revealed, everyone in the correct group will break out into cheers. Those in the other groups will claim "Foul!" and "Unfair!" and "Give us back our pea!"

There will be hitting and spitting and hurling of epithets. It will go on seemingly forever as the nightly news cameras roll and our top pundits debate the meaning of the entire enterprise.

In the meantime, I will become famous for my idea, and the Islamic center quietly will be built somewhere in New York City. In years to come people will go there to study peace and worship their God, and the Thinking Cap Pea Riot will be a forgotten blip on the screen of history.

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