ARCHIVE:
04132011

From the Sheeplog Experts...

Jane Ann

Jane Ann

TOPIC: "Horoscope Cautions"

I’m the sheepdotcom astrologer now. Here’s your current Horoscope-According-to-Jane-Ann:

The outlook is rosy for Leo (my sign).

Caution is in order if you are a Libra because tea party Republicans have been dragging your name through the dirt. Everything will be okay if you stay out of their way, however. That’s good advice for all signs, come to think of it.

Taurus, don’t lean to the right OR left, and if you lean by mistake don’t make any snap decisions. The lean-snap combination bodes ill. You might break something.

Those who are under the new sign, Big Dipper, don’t move until you hear from me again. I'm serious. Stay very still right where you are. Think about it: What if YOU get dragged through the dirt? Not something a dipper wants to do because you'll end up holding a lot of earth.

Pisces, do not drive. If all Pisces don’t drive, the world population is consuming one-twelfth our usual amount of gasoline. Don’t waste time complaining that you have to be the ones who are inconvenienced. Walking and biking are more enjoyable, anyway (unless you get run off the road by, say, a Big Dipper who failed to follow my advice). Also, it’s time to start thinking about bringing back the pogo stick. This is your quest if you are a Pisces.

Gemini: Get it together!

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