From the Sheeplog Experts...



TOPIC: "Birds of Oil"

I am so glad they finally capped the leaking oil well in the gulf. All those pictures on TV of oil-drenched birds was depressing.

Every night on the news, helpless sea birds stuck and writhing in the muck, obviously in shock. I finally just turned it off. I don’t want to see suffering. It so brings you down. I quit watching when I realized it was affecting my tennis game.

Like I was on the court and suddenly an image of a mama pelican trying to swim free of a giant oil slick crossed my mind. I had to stop in the middle of my serve. My opponent goes, "Hildy, what’s wrong?" I say, "I was just thinking about the oil spill." She says, "Oh, I know. I saw it on TV. It’s terrible! I feel so bad for those birds down there."

I’m seeing how bad she feels, so I quickly toss the ball and ace her. You know? We both felt better after that. In the face of tragedy, many turn to tennis or golf. (On the other hand if tragedy takes place IN tennis or golf—like the heartbreak of Tiger Woods—nobody knows where to turn, although some do try to escape by watching, like, a hunger video. Anything to get your mind off it.)

Back to the oil-drenched birds: I have to say the birds’ behavior was a little disturbing. It sort of tarnished the image of birds. I mean, really. There they were swimming and struggling in all that goop and I’m thinking, um, guys! You have wings! Fly away. Do not go in the oily parts of the water.

Sorry. I just don’t get it. It’s a little embarrassing to be a bird these days.

Anyway here are some tips for your health: Don’t look at sad stuff; play tennis or golf; try not to think about Tiger; and fly somewhere.