From the Sheeplog Experts...



TOPIC: "National Pastime"

I love baseball.

Now with the World Series just around the corner, the playoffs are on TV nearly every night and I’m having the time of my life! Except for one small, niggling thing:

The investment advisor commercials!

Oh-my-gosh. The reason we watch baseball is SO WE DON’T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT PLANNING FOR OUR FUTURE!

I know my future is unsettled. I'm surrounded by financial instability. My brain is unsettled. My stomach is unsettled. Plus, it’s hurricane season and war and pestilence persist. Like everyone else, I’m watching baseball to forget. (The beer and guacamole commercials are good.)

Millions of Americans are tuning in to baseball to not think about our financial instability. We are coming in droves to avert our eyes from our uncertain future.

We prefer to watch people throw and catch balls. Even more, we enjoy watching them miss. We hoot and howl at the guy who drops the ball. Please! Replay the error! Again and again. Show a close up of the forlorn player who missed the ball. HE made a mistake.

We watch so we can be not involved. People actually pay to go out to the stadium to be not involved. While being completely not responsible for what happens, they scream at one person to touch another person with a ball. Sometimes they paint their faces and wear costumes. Sometimes they get so excited about a situation for which they're not responsible, that they wear their hats inside out!

Others of us are so far removed that we watch the crazy not-involved people. For hours.

But mainly, we aren’t having to think about the fact that we may never be able to retire.

Please stop trying to make us think about that.

Besides, I already know exactly what to do when the Series is over and my “investment portfolio” (which looks suspiciously like 15 shares in my cousin’s weiner cart) starts to tank: I’ll scream and wear my hat inside out.

Let’s hear it for the boys of October!