From the Sheeplog Experts...

Blitzen in shades


TOPIC: "Eyewear Goes Retro"

Enormous sunglasses are making a comeback. Seventies-era shades that cover half your face or swept-back superhero jobs. That’s the look of today—and look behind you because the style comes perilously close to going 360 degrees around your head.

The thing that has me excited about this is that some of us are going to be able to save a ton of bucks on fashion eyewear.

For instance, I inherited some of those huge dark glasses from my grandfather from when he had cataracts. I admit I didn’t want to be seen with him when he donned those goggles for his afternoon stroll to the mailbox. But now I’m wearing them myself—at all the best restaurants…well, the ones that will let me in. (One maitre d’ had the nerve to turn me away, he said, out of respect for customers with cataract histories. I assume they don’t like to be reminded that when they sold their (also enormous) car, they left their favorite giant sunglasses under the seat—and now they’re worth something!)

If you don’t have any grandpappy wraparounds, maybe you can find some swim goggles—not the teeny little speedo kind, but the big dudes that sometimes have a snorkel attached.

Let me suggest something cutting edge: wear the mask-type goggles WITH the snorkel. It really will call attention to your face—I probably didn’t need to say that—while the sides of your head get fashion treatment at the same time. We likely will see this in Paris and Milan next year.

One thing I feel I do need to say is don’t go overboard, so to speak. Stop before going below the neck, okay? You know what I’m getting at: no fins on your feet.

I’m thinking red Elton John shades and a snorkel is as cool as you can get this season. If you try to push the envelope any further you’ll fall flat. Fins always, most certainly pose that danger.