ARCHIVE:
02282011

From the Sheeplog Experts...

Croze

Cow Tin Croze

TOPIC: "Reigniting Oldies"

It seems like every time you turn around another rock/pop oldster is doing a new album of old music.

No wonder. They’re wiped out, man. They shouldn’t even have been going THIS long. But, take it from us, fans just don’t let you go. So you keep making albums to keep them happy even though you don’t have any energy left to write new stuff.

Remember? We tried that a couple of blogs ago and your non-response was deafening, dudes.

So we’re gonna jump on the oldie bandwagon and hope to cash in on somebody else’s past success.

Now the way it’s being done isn’t like a tribute, man, not an exact replica. It’s doing our own thing with old songs. That’s good, because we chose Bobby Vinton, and you just don’t want to hear BV replicated with exactitude, dude. Not in this day and time.

Poor old Bobby had a kinda smarmy sound. Perfect for the early 60s. But the two wars, the British invasion and Vietnam, ushered in a need for heaviness, you know?

No place for that old Vinton syrup, man. Like, where was the bass?! There wasn’t even any bass in Bobby’s voice, bless his heart. (We had to check Wikipedia to see if we should say bless his heart or rest his soul.)

But we’re set to reignite “Blue Velvet.” We’ll tear it up with slashing bass, kickin’ drums and serious guitar effects. It is gonna kill!

The smarm will be gone from “Roses Are Red My Love,” too, and you won’t even recognize “Mr. Lonely.” We don’t know why Bobby didn’t give him a color like his other hits. We’re thinking of renaming it “Mr. So Lonely as to be Almost Greenish.”

Can’t wait to get in the studio.

Peace out.

Comment:

Hey, I liked Roses are Red. Spoke to the angst of all of us Baby Boomers--when we were 14.
—OlyBopper, Charlotte, NC

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