From the Sheeplog Experts...



TOPIC: "All About Brackets"

Old Goat knew his March Madness picks might spark a little controversy. Looking at the comment below, I’ve gotta say the Sage of the Southwest’s dogged regional loyalty might make him/her more “the Sage of the Lower Left” according to OG’s designations. Sage certainly isn’t clinging to the nominal Southwest region with its hangers-on from Florida, Virginia and Kansas!

But the Brackets—OH-MY-GOSH! March Madness supersedes even St. Patrick’s Day as a seasonal celebration. While basketball is still just a game, The Bracket has taken on enormous consequence in our national culture.

The Sage mentioned praying over his bracket. Praying over one’s bracket—a practice called BRACKETUALITY—is only one aspect of a developing consciousness of The Bracket.

FYI, here are some other disciplines of The Bracket:

BRACKETOLOGY—The first of the new practices, this is simply the study of brackets. It’s not that hard and no matter how long you study the brackets you don’t get any better at it. Bracketologists spend a great deal of time poring over the field and talking about their picks but it is usually a one-way conversation.

BRACKETONOMY—The science of Brackets. It involves statistics, equations, probability theory and a lot of erasing.

BRACKETOGRAPHY—This is the art of actually filling out your Bracket. Penmanship counts, but not that much. It is about line quality, artful rendering and display. Erasing is frowned upon.

BRACKETATION—After you’ve studied, prayed, calculated and written on your Bracket, you begin Bracketation in which you use your Bracket as part of your daily routine. You can use it as a placemat, a sun visor, a very large bookmark or—if it is late in the tournament and you’ve had a poor showing—to mop up spills.

BRACKETRY—This is the act of impersonating a bracket and is considered unethical at best and immoral in its most heinous iterations.

BRACKETICIENCY—One’s ability in Bracket selections. Rating standards haven’t been set yet, but they will be. Likely, Bracketiciency will be based on longterm results and you’ll probably have to keep copies of all your Brackets for several years, so think before mopping up those spills.

BRACKETISENCE—This is the feeling you get right after you’ve filled out your Bracket, before the games start. It is a heady moment in which you truly believe in your brilliance. It has a life-span roughly equivalent to a new element on the Periodic Table.