frank

Dear Headless Frank:

Lately, it seems that I’m constantly hounded by concerns about getting older and how I’ll cope with the inevitable changes in life ahead. Do you have some advice to help me overcome my worry and have a more positive attitude?

—In Transition

Dear In Transition—
The minute you start life on this earth you begin getting older and you change every day. I mean look at me!

I had to learn to live without my head—which makes me hate when people say, "You can do anything you want if you just put your mind to it." Not always true, because you may not always have a mind! (Okay that’s the part you don’t want to think about.) But you can love life at every age and stage.

It’s a journey—like you're "on the road."

The Irish have a nice blessing about this, but since I’m not Irish, I’ll offer you a blessing of my own as you travel the road of life. Remember it’s metaphorical so try to figure out what it really means:

Blessing for the Road of Life

May the road rise to meet you without damaging your radiator in the process.
May all your signage be clear and your ramps well marked.
May you never get stuck in a cul-de-sac.
May all your billboards evoke feelings reminiscent of Gustav Klimt’s “The Kiss.”
May you become proficient with cruise control—and know when to turn it off.
May you never pull into a rest area where all the bathrooms are closed for cleaning.
May you never pass an adventure without stopping.
May you not get in a traffic tie up in the middle of a 10-mile bridge.
May you find your way to the Great Potato Exposition museum hospitality room.
May your road rage always remain locked in the glove compartment.
May all your motels have TV remotes that actually work and waffles available at the complimentary breakfast.
May you never get left in the car while the rest of the family gambles in the casino all day.
May you always find a parking spot.
May all your parking spots be legal.
May all your tickets be to entertainment venues and not to court.
May you have a great ride and may your joy be complete!

Signing off: Medullah oblongata.