Grazin'

Sheepish Thoughts from the past:

  • Catch and release — good if it’s a fish; bad if it’s a virus.
  • Strive for perspicuity into perpetuity…without straining your pituitary.
  • You’re supposed to wait 30 minutes after eating before you go swimming—that means two hours if you have four stomachs!
  • As much as I love flower arrangements, I’ll never resort to violets.
  • If you delve into the core of your being, you’ll come to really appreciate glands.
  • I’ve decided I’m going to read more…as long as I can keep my phone charged.
  • Don’t look for wisdom to come from above when your feet hurt.
  • When tempted to anger, calm yourself. When tempted to gossip, CLAM yourself.
  • If God wanted you to be so self-absorbed, he’d have made you a sponge.
  • Not upgrading your phone is when technology leaves you behind. …And dropping your phone in the toilet is when technology leaves behind you.
  • Whose idea was randomness, anyway?
  • I hope the road I’m on leads to a live end.
  • Don’t get bitter. It will take away the radishes' only reason for being.
  • A smile is a great way to show approval—or that you’ve been eating blueberries.
  • Of COURSE we’re having climate change—all the nurses of the world keep taking our temperature.
  • I’m going to invest in wind power. I heard God’s a big fan.
  • 100 percent of males and females contribute to the world population.
  • All teachers know a pupil is in the eye of the beholder.
  • When the librarian tells me to lower my voice, I'll say, “Maybe you should turn down the helium.”
  • You’ve gotta stop and smell the roses—before they smell you.
  • Don’t leave the next generation high and dry—mulch your kids.
  • I don’t look forward to the night when my memory foam forgets.
  • If the shoe fits, you aren’t a sheep. Try flip-flops.
  • Add spice to your life—but make sure you taste it first.
  • Eat, work, pray. Eat, work, pray. …Is there something else? — Share.
  • Tip to first-time parents: Keep your cool. Because in 14 years somebody’s gonna try to tell you that you have none.
  • Random acts of agriculture can change the world.
    …Does doing a face plant on the sidewalk count?
  • Be good. It’s insurance on your post-existing condition.
  • My biggest temptation is gossiping—but I’m not nearly as bad about it as that bigmouth Tallulah.
  • Empty the thoughts from your mind once in awhile—so God can fill the space.
  • Green living is responsible. But sometimes it’s just chard.
  • A conceptual idea is redundant—especially if you repeat it over and over.
  • It’s hard to remember how much I used to forget.
  • Just when I think I’m getting to know my tree, it leaves.
  • If you don’t keep right behind you might get left behind.
  • If you can’t resolve an argument, try clearing the air
    …because you can’t hear each other in a vacuum.
  • Maybe generous helping is something to do rather than something to have.
  • You are the salt of the earth, but be aware that everybody’s going to want a lick.
  • Multi-tasking makes it hard to concentrate—wait—multi-what?
  • There’s a voice deep inside me saying, "You have just eaten a talking millipede."
  • Life’s not about accomplishment so much as it’s about engagement.
  • Love doesn’t come cheap.
  • Change is good. Loose change is just annoying.
  • But change really IS good. So don’t let it fall through the cracks.
  • When I feel something weighing heavy on my mind…I usually find out I’m wearing a hat.
  • You can't go through life without making history.
  • Speaking of new ideas…might help you have some!
  • Guess what—verb is a noun.
  • Never go to bed right after doing math—unless you want to dream about being chased by a great big five!
  • Seeking the common good is good — but not that common.
  • When crossing the street, look both ways. Safety tip: That doesn’t mean up and down.
  • Calories don’t count—YOU have to count THEM.
  • Poor quality products shouldn’t be called "goods."
  • If you think you are bored, check again to make sure you aren’t just boring.
  • Pong-ping is another name for tennis table.
  • Worms have feelings, too. But why must they be so melodramatic?!
  • The key to happiness unlocks a LOT of doors.
  • Follow your dreams—except for that one about the gorilla and the yellow slime.
  • Can the Amish ever become totally Am?
  • I can be still and still be.
  • A sheep will rise to expectations, so please don’t say you think of me as a large marshmallow.
  • How does waiting work with living in the present?
  • Anticipation feels better than anxiety.
  • Anticipation feels even better if you do it with that song from the old ketchup commercial in your head.
  • Omigosh! WAITING feels better if you do it with "Wait, Mr. Postman" by the Marvelette’s in your head.
  • I can’t understand why Marvelette has never made the list of most popular baby names.
  • Revenge is not that sweet—go for the Twinkies, instead.
  • Be kind to your sidekick today.
  • Somebody should write to the Viennese about their sausages.
  • I had a great vacation! Next time maybe I’ll take my body along, too.
  • True generosity means never counting the cost…but more than 15 dollars is a lot!
  • Stand tall, arms raised, hands out, face skyward, mouth open, deep breath: Give thanks!
  • It’s okay to be grateful two days in a row.
  • Push the envelope, but don’t forget to lick the flap.
  • Embrace Vitamin D…with both hands. It’s big these days.
  • If you must hover, do it over something worthy.
  • Try being a square peg.
  • If you feel eclipsed by another, just remember it happens to the moon at least twice a year and it still shines.
  • Hold your ground-—and don’t put it down until you’re ready to walk on it.
  • You won’t know it’s dawned on you unless your eyes are open.
  • Keep your kindness ready-—someone's going to need it.
  • Where there’s wool, there’s a way.
  • Simon never sez what you were hoping.
  • If you come to a fork in the road, pick it up. Vegetables won’t be far behind.
  • Don’t expect to come to chopsticks in the road.
  • Search today for what bodes well.
  • I wonder how does one bode.
  • If you decide to bode, avoid boding accidents.
  • Some small moments are large in goodness. Don’t miss them.
  • Go ahead and try to answer the hard questions—otherwise, they’ll keep coming up.
  • Put word into action. Oh, and use the word "LOVE."
  • If the grass isn’t greener, eat it anyway. It’s still grass.
  • …and IF the grass is greener that only means it had more photosynthesis.
  • Think positive—even though you probably can’t.
  • Remove the word "can’t" from your vocabulary. Replace it with "paroxysm."
  • …y’know? Sometimes "can’t" is a perfectly good word. Put it back in your vocabulary
  • Don’t let a paroxysm surprise you.
  • Strive for calm—use this meditative mantra: Shoo-bee-doo-wahdalee-ssa…I mean DAHH--wait!..la-roonie…ackk—no!...doc…uhhh
  • Don’t let transcendental meditation stress you out.
  • Don’t trip over your costume.
  • When you pray for your daily bread, ask for a little wine, too.
  • Get a new perspective: Stand on your head.
  • Imagine if God’s little instruction book was in Swahili.
  • If you get drawn into an argument, SING your response.
  • Sometimes you have to think off the top of your head, but remember everyone isn’t as lucky as William Tell.
  • …or the Lone Ranger.
  • We probably don’t give enough thanks for gravity.
  • Glass half-empty or half-full? Be thankful; some people’s glass is completely empty—do something about it.
  • Party suggestion: Decorate your tablecloth with the lunatic fringe.
  • Choose well who you follow and don’t pull their tail.

Y'know there may not be a complete list—sheep have been thinking a long time.

Last week's sheepish thought:

thinking

Back to SHEEPISH THOUGHTS

Back to MAIN PAGE