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09152014

Headless Frank...

advisor to the lovelorn, weary, confused, and the overly self-involved

headless frank

Dear Headless Frank:

I get so tired of hearing women talk about how hard it is to find a decent man. Women need to understand that if they’d quit traveling in packs they’d be way more likely to meet interesting guys. Why women seem to always go out in groups is a mystery to me. Please tell them that thoughtful men are more inclined to start a conversation with a woman who isn’t in a crowd of her friends.
—Uninterested in Chatting Up a Group

Dear UCUG—
I’ll tell them no such thing.

Apparently you haven’t read about men being from Mars and women from Venus, because you are stuck on Mars, Man.

Take a walk in women’s shoes. They simply aren’t comfortable being out by themselves.

To continue with your animal kingdom analogy, this is a legitimate defense mechanism. Females are drawn to—and like to—take care of each other. If a member of the "pack" attracts the interest of a lone wolf, the rest of the girls typically slide away. But guys, know they are watching you for any sign of untoward motives.

venus

If you doubt women are from Venus, just take a look at one of my favorite fellow statues of detachment: the Venus de Milo. I’m posting her picture here to remind you of the result of what happened the one time in history that a woman decided to go out for an evening on her own.

Since then, women are taking a lesson "from Venus."

Live with it.

Signing off: Medulla oblongata.

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