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Headless Frank...

advisor to the lovelorn, weary, confused, and the overly self-involved

headless frank

Dear Headless Frank:

Do you think the president can recover from his debate debacle?
—Concerned Swing State Voter

Dear CSSV—
I have to say I’ve never felt closer to the president than during that debate because within the first five minutes I knew he could totally relate to my circumstances. However, if he had only asked my advice ahead of time I would have warned him not to experiment with headlessness for the first time in front of 73 million viewers.

Also, if you are the President of the United States and suddenly notice your head has fallen off you have the responsibility to stop everything and say, "Excuse me, we’ll have to re-schedule because I just realized I am headless at this time."

You are the president. You have the power to shut things down when your head is missing!

Easy for me to say, of course, since I’ve been headless for years. It’s hard to know what to do when it happens unexpectedly.

Can he recover? All I know is headlessness is a state of mind.

We shall see what happens when the next debate comes around. Even if the president comes to the podium headless again, the good news is pre-existing conditions are covered under Obamacare.

Signing off: Medulla oblongata.

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