Mavis' Commentary

Here is the most recent report from our bovine punditoid on her Cow Consciousness Group (CCG). Please share your own thoughts and consciousness with her.

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"Change Doesn't Come Easy"

A member of out Cow Consciousness Group (CCG) has come to us with a personal concern.

Our dear friend Geneva says she wants a species change. Geneva says that after much soul-searching she has come to the realization that she’s a parakeet trapped in a cow’s body.

Jasmine asked what a species change operation would entail for a cow to become a complete and whole parakeet. Vera explained it would require attaching feathers—involving a staggering amount of scotch tape—and either inserting a special voice box called a "chirper" or gene therapy. No one knows where Vera gets her information but it sounded plausible.

However, our leader Pinky pointed out that gene therapy would hardly be adequate because for a species change, Geneva would need therapy for her entire genome. Geneva said that would be okay as long as insurance covered it and that’s when Pinky had to break the news that cows don’t have insurance.

Pinky then called upon the group to please meditate on the pros and cons of a cow undergoing a species change.

With our consciousness raised, Vera was filled with compassion and asked Geneva if she could be fulfilled if she stayed a cow but everybody just treated her like a parakeet. Jasmine—not so compassionate—said she wasn’t sure we had a chain strong enough to support Geneva on a perch.

Geneva decided that if the herd fully accepted her as a parakeet—and if she could learn to fly—she might be okay staying in her cow body.

Jasmine said her cousin in Bolivia is good friends with a lot of parakeets and could probably find Geneva a flying instructor—but again, no insurance. In fact, cows have no safety net of any kind.

Nevertheless, Geneva was overcome with joy at this outpouring of encouragement and began fluttering madly about in a nearby birdbath, which of course broke under her weight.

Importantly, meditation reminded us we’re all in this together—but only one cow on the perch at a time.



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